If you haven’t noticed, I’ve changed the way I blog. Instead of thinking ‘o I should really sit down and write something that I do/I need to get this post out’ now I’m writing when I think of something. I have to say a lot of the time it is late night Friday/Saturday, but you know what my weeks are filled and I’m happy with what I’m doing. I feel like my outlook on my blog has changed over the past couple of months. I want this blog but I’m not going to post silly things that everyone else always posts. Ok I’m not ruling out ever doing a GRWM or a Haul or whatever but I feel like if I do me I’ll get stuff done and I’ll write in this space more.
I feel like I have so many things going through my head at once that I just don’t know how to deal with certain things. And when things just pop into your mind late at night you know, you know deep down that’s the problem you need to deal with first. I’ve found over the past 3 posts I’ve made that it helps. It won’t help forever but it helps me make some understanding of what I need and how to go about things.
There’s only so much you can say before you know it’s your life and it gets a little boring. But maybe being honest and putting feelings down makes others around you stop to think about how they see their life from their perspective. Over the past year I have to say I’ve sat and thought a lot about who I am as a person, who do I want to be and the only real answer I’ve found is I want to be strong. Strong as in able to deal with certain thoughts in a ‘normal’ way. Strong as in able to stand up for myself a little bit more. Strong to be independent and not rely on others to do things for me. These are things I need and should have already done for myself but being where I was only a year ago I see now why I didn’t. Now I’m in a place I can start to work on myself and what I need in my life instead of what everyone else needs. I’ve started to realise my feelings are more important than others and I need to put myself first.