Grandma

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Dear Grandma,

What a rough 10 years it’s been. I’m sorry that for the first 5 I stopped recognising it was your anniversary and you were gone, it was just tough. It still is tough, there’s never going to be a time where I’m ok with the way this turned out. I’m sad knowing you’re gone and you haven’t seen me grow to the person I am today. I really hope you’re proud of me and who I am. I hope you’re proud of the choices I make and what I do. I’m sad you can’t see where we all are and how we are all going. It’s hard when you were the closet person to me other than mum. I just miss you a lot and somedays I wish I could be 3 again so I could see you almost everyday instead of never seeing you at all. I still regret not seeing you the months, weeks and days before you passed but it hurt me to much to know you wouldn’t be here anymore. In my 12 year old head if I didn’t see you nothing was wrong and you’d be out in a jiffy. Even when I was told that wasn’t the case I still believed it would. To know you lived to 89 is incredible and I’m happy I got to share some of those years with you. But I still hurt knowing I didn’t get more.
I love you till the end of time and I’ve loved you from the start,
Jess

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One thought on “Grandma

  1. Pingback: Christmas 2016 | jaybeeeeblogs

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