From just 6 weeks ago my perception of this Christmas has definitely changed. I’m in the Christmas spirit, I’m listening to Christmas music I’m making the most of Christmas. However, this years Christmas is one of the saddest/hardest I’ve had in over 10 years.
If you didn’t know my Grandmother passed away 10 years ago (read here for more) and that was the hardest Christmas I ever experienced, since she was one of the closet people I’d ever been too. However, this year it’s even harder. If you didn’t see my last post click here to read it and come back. As you can tell my dad is sick, not just sick, cancer sick. My plans for this Christmas have changed, Nice Guy and I planned for us to go to his family for Christmas this year (which would have been incredibly hard for me) but with dads sickness we have changed. I’m so grateful to Nice Guy due to his ability to quickly change his plans and put me somewhere at the top of his list.
This Christmas is going to be hard and sad. As dad is out of energy in a matter of minutes and not only that but it will be his second shot of Chemo, in his eight week process. Which means he’ll be losing his hair, he’ll feel like a car hit him pretty much all day and he just won’t enjoy it.
In the least I’m scared. I’m scared about what’s going to happen to my dad and whether this is the last Christmas for him. Usually my parents saying ‘this will be my last Christmas’ is hilarious and our whole family will laugh, but this time we’re not and I don’t know how to cope.