The last 3 weekends I’ve been sick. The past 2 I’ve spent them in bed. This weekend being my first where I actually didn’t have a sleep during the day.
It’s my luck that I’m sick at the end of the year, in Summer. But hopefully that means I’m not sick for my holidays.
It’s been a wild month or two or three or just the whole year. I need to change Nice Guy from Nice Guy to a very different name. I really want to start blogging more again and start a system, but we know how many times I’ve said this and it hasn’t happened. But tomorrow, I’m going to sit down and think about at least 2 months worth of blog posts to post.
I need something to take my mind off all the bad things that have been happening and begin to look at the good things again. It’s going to be hard, but I definitely want to start this little page again. So please cross your fingers for me to continue it this time.
Maybe one day I’ll find someone who loves me for me and still continue to love me no matter what happens in my life. But also, will he ever come back for me?
I’ve never actually understood this saying, before now. Like I understand that shit happens. Shit happens all the fucking time. Look at my past year. But I’m getting to know that when it rains it pours. Over the past month, my anxiety has been heightened quiet a bit, due to figuring out life without dad and not having Nice Guy as much (it actually hurts to write him as Nice Guy right now and I guess you’ll find out why). Then stuff with Nice Guy and I happened and its hurt.
I feel like the world is throwing me under the bus without letting me breathe. Mum has said to me over and over “you’ve been here before it’ll be ok” but I don’t feel like it will be. I and my head and heart are all over the place and what’s there to do when nothing seems to be going your way.
Theres nothing left. Nothing worth fighting for. I’m not worth fighting for.
Why hello there internet, I’ve hit that “offline” button for a while if I’m honest.
There hasn’t been much thats happened around my life since the last post. It’s just been me and my family trying to figure our lives out without such a major part. We’ve had a new baby arrive and it’s lovely.
We’re trying to get back into routine, for me it’s hard.
I hope you’re resting peacefully up there now. I love you and will always love you. I will miss you every single day more than you know.
Love you forever, like you for always, as long as I’m living ❤