I find that days were Nice Guy is ‘home’ I find coming home at 3/4 a nice feeling. On days that Nice Guy isn’t here, I feel like home isn’t home and home is still at mum and dads. Some days I feel weird mentioning that but my house doesn’t feel like home without someone around. Maybe it’s that I get more done when Nice Guy is here, I get to spend time talking to him in the morning and talk about my day. I spend A LOT more time offline with him here.
My heart is full when he’s here. My anxiety settles and my thoughts settle too. Nice Guy definitely is my settler. Thats what makes me coming home on days he’s ‘home’ easier and it feels like my home. He’s my calm. All of his annoyingness, all of his frustrations, all of his weirdness, he’s my calm.
I don’t think I’ve ever felt the homing feeling with anyone before. Maybe that’s why my anxiety heightened when I found out the information on Monday (it involved him and he wasn’t here). I also have never admitted that to myself and I think it’s something I needed to do.